Balloon Hoax

Okay, this whole balloon hoax thing is ridiculous. I was trying to figure out how it was possible for a 6-year-old kid to be trapped inside a helium balloon and 1: be light enough for the thing to lift off the ground, and 2: be able to get inside the thing in the first place and 3: breathe. The whole situation was fishy from the beginning, and I'm sure maybe the authorities thought so too, but have to follow up on claims involving children. The Heenes are media whores and disgusting human beings. They deserve any charges that are brought against them along with any bills the police send their way, and probably even to have their children removed from the house since they were told to lie to the authorities and neighbors, (presumably) left the youngest child at home by himself, as well as taking resources from other potential real-life emergencies. These guys are just top-notch, grade-a DBs. Too bad they won't rot in prison for longer than 6 years at the most...on the other hand, they kinda need to hurry up and get out of prison so they can get off the state dime and start repaying the county for their hoax. And no, they should not be allowed to file bankruptcy in order to get out of it. Psychos.

The Olympics

I know this is old news, but it's been eating at me for some time, and here's what I think. Everyone knows that President Obama went to Copenhagen to personally campaign to get the Olympics to Chicago in 2016. Everyone also knows that the USA was the first one cut from the running. Major embarrassment to President Obama. I personally don't care if the Olympics come to the USA or not, but here's what I think happened, and why it irritates me so much. I think that the Olympic committee cut the USA first as an intentional slap in the face to both America and President Obama. I think that all of the "love" that Europe has shown to our president, and all of the grovelling that Obama has done over there in the last couple of years, meant big fat nothing. Europe, and the rest of the world wants to put America in her place, and they have proven that they have no respect for our President or us. Period. That's fine with me. I'm not particularly fond of them either. But I think it's a bad idea for the world to bite the hand that feeds them. This would be the perfect time for us to withdraw foreign aide, and use it to pay down our $10 trillion deficit.

Go Figure

Launa, who won't eat anything that isn't peanut butter and jelly, just mustered up the courage to try jambalaya. She liked it! Even better, she calls it "jambalamba." Good times.

How Could I Possibly Get Better Looking?!

I was sitting with Launa and she said something about me getting more beautiful. I asked her how I could possibly get more beautiful, when I already look the way I do. Well, she rattled off a pretty long list, and here it is, "You could put on a dress, necklace, bracelet, earrings, high-heels, put your hair up..." Hmm...translation: "Try a little, Mom." ?

Proud of My Son

Yesterday, Launa was sick. :( She fell asleep before dinner, so just Jeremy, Daniel and I were at the table eating supper. We were just talking, and I can't remember why, but Jeremy said something like, "That Launa ruins everything." (Just joking.) Daniel got real indignant and said, "No she doesn't! Launa doesn't ruin everything! She's a great sister, and I love her!" Ah - that's nice to hear! Good to know he's watching out for her.

Proud of My Daughter

We were in the car yesterday and I don't know how this conversation started, but I heard Daniel say, "If you have to play it that way, then I'm not going to play with you."

Launa: "You won't play?"

Daniel: "No, I won't play at all."

Launa: "You won't play at all?"

Daniel: " No."

Launa: "Fine with me!" Continues playing.

First of all, the tone was GREAT! And second of all, I am so proud of her for not letting him manipulate her or feel bad about wanting to play something. Maybe she could have been more flexible, but like I said, at least I didn't have to deal with: *sob* "MOOOOOOOOMMYYYYYY!! Daniel won't play with me! WAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH!"

Good times.

Turn In Your Friends And Family

I know most of you probably already know about his, because it's been widely publicized for over a week. It just took me some time to wrap my head around it. I still have difficulty believing this. The Obama administration has appointed a "Minister of Disinformation" whose job is to make sure that all the "lies" about Obama's health care plan are reported to the White House. They have asked anyone who receives emails, fliers, or even hears an individual talking about the Obamacare bill in an unflattering (fishy) way to please report the individual to the President's staff by sending them an email at flag@whitehouse.gov. In fact, here's a link to it: http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/Facts-Are-Stubborn-Things/ just in case you don't believe me.

Wow.

There just aren't words.

Isn't this the kind of thing that the Supreme leaders of the USSR, China and Nazi Germany told their population to do? "Do your civic duty, and turn in all dissenters!" What do Obama's cronies plan to do with this information? Why do they need to know that Bob Smith in Oklahoma thinks that Obama's health care bill is a bad idea? Will those of us who disagree find our children taken from us and put into more suitable homes, with "thinking, rational" adults in charge? Will we suddenly find ourselves in trouble with the IRS because we made a mistake on our taxes 15 years ago? Will we find that we have a harder time finding employment than our Obama-slave counterparts? It makes me ill. This is intimidation like we have never seen in this country. Even people who agree with Obama's policies should be up in arms about this. So long 1st Amendment.

"No Gerls"

A couple of weeks ago I went upstairs and was checking on the kids when I found this sign on the door to Daniel's room:



The odd thing about it is that I can tell that the people drawn on the sign were drawn by my gerl, Launa. She always draws the body stick on her people starting between the eyes. The next day I asked Daniel about it, and he told me that he asked Launa to help him decorate his sign, and she did. So my son actually got my daughter to help him make a sign to keep her out of his room! Figures.

Holy Schnikey!

I was looking around on Daniel's school's website and found the bus schedule. So I checked. His bus comes to pick him up at 6:43 am!! Can you believe that ladies and gentlemen?! Did our buses come that early when I was a kid? I don't remember that. Yeesh. I'm going to be a zombie for the next 9 months.

Where Do They Get This Stuff?

My kids were playing pretend the other day while I was going about my business. I was in the other room when I heard them playing. Daniel was the daddy and he said, "No, you can't have any of this cake and ice cream, it's diet, and you're a child." To which Launa exclaimed with all the melodrama of a 4-year-old, "But Da-ad, I'm a teenager, I have to be on a diet!"

Reader's Digest Condensed Version Of The Trip! (Sorry It Took So Long!)

There's no excuse for this having taken so long (actually, plenty of excuses, but I'll spare you). And the only way this'll ever get posted is if I give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version of our trip to Savannah. So here it is:

Liz and Timpani came to my house to get me (yay!) and they spent the night:



Then we left the next morning:



Then we broke down a block away from my house. :(

Then we left for real! :



We drove through Atlanta:



We slept:




Except for Timpani, who drove:



We got to Savannah!




We made it to our room!






We had dinner:



We tried on clothes at the mall:

This dress was $120.



We found this button in the hallway of the hotel, but were too scared to try it out:



We went to bed.

We went to the beach:






Liz found a crab:



Timpani got "rescued" by some good-lookin' lifeguards (but we forgot to take pictures?!)

We made a sand castle.

They buried me, but I refuse to post pics of it.

We found lots of seashells!



We got sunburned.

We left the beach, and saw a police escort. It was a movie crew filming the next Hannah Montana movie! (Wish I had a pic of that too, but it went by so fast, we didn't know what we were looking at.)

We came back to the room and got all dressed up to go out on the town:




We went out on the town, where Liz got hit on all night by: Diego (our waiters' buddy) and two guys off the street, and a couple of girls told us we were looking sexy that night.

We went to bed.

We got up, and bought food at the Piggly Wiggly to take to the beach:



We went into some little gift shops and then back to the beach:



We had to come home.

I saw a digital billboard in Atlanta displaying the Blue Screen of Death! Too bad I didn't get a picture of it.

We made it home (tanned and rested?):



They went to church with me. :)

They left me. :(

They got a flat tire on the way home when they hit a metal hubcap. Some nice man changed the tire for them.

They got home safely.

Overall, we had a blast, and can't wait to do it again next year!

Launa's Dream

Launa told me that she had a dream that Daniel was "kidnaptured" by pirates. He didn't have ninja skills, so they tied him up, surrounded him by fire, and his dog came and rescued him. Then the dog took a cannon and fired a connonball into the pirate's mouth.

Awesome Weekend!

Don't have the "umph!" to give all the details, but check out this shell I found buried in the sand at the beach! Yay me!

The Agony Of Being Gorgeous

We were walking around a store over the weekend, and I had Launa with me. There was a little boy who must have been about 2 years old, that saw Launa and held his arms out to give her a hug. Well Launa walked away from him and he followed her around and around and around trying to hug her. Finally I made her hug this strange boy because he was so darn cute, and I felt a little bad about Launa rejecting him like that. She didn't want to hug him tho. I probably shouldn't make her hug strange boys, I'm only asking for problems down the road, but I didn't know what else to do! We'll have to come up with a game plan, because especially with Launa, we are getting increased invitations by people who think she is adorable. There's already a boy at church (who's several years older than her) that thinks she is the most adorable little girl he has ever seen, so I'm keeping an eye on him. But I guess that's the price of tremendous beauty. I'll just have to be especially diligent. All you other parents of incredibly gorgeous girls (I think that's everyone that reads this blog), have any of you had experiences like this, and what do you do?

Best Article I've Ever Read

Okay, you guys probably saw it too on your news feeds today, but it cracked me up, so I had to do a post about it. If you click on this link, it will take you to a story about a 13-year-old that was given a Walk-Man cassette tape player by his dad who told him that it was their equivalent of an iPod when he was a teenager and then asked him what he thought of it. I think it's a cool experiment, and the results will have you rolling!

Celebrity Death Week!

Hello, all you crazy people out there in the blogosphere, and welcome to Celebrity Death Week! The seven day period of June 22 through June 28, 2009 will always be known in my mind as the week all the celebrities in the world held their breath and hid trembling in their closets while Death stalked silently outside their doors. The week started off innocently enough with zero deaths on the tally for the first couple of days. Which was a pretty good run. However, Ed McMahon got the ball rolling when he died June 24, 2009 at the ripe old age of 86. While the death of such an icon as Ed McMahon has saddened millions of Americans, the truth is that no one was actually very surprised when the Grim Reaper beat him in a game of tag. The death of everyone's favorite Angel was also not a terrible surprise on June 25, 2009, as Farrah Fawcett had been battling with colon cancer for quite come time. And while we will all miss her many appearances in Playboy and on posters everywhere, those long sexy legs of hers just could not outrun He Who Rides The Pale Horse. Sadly, her death, which was deserving of so much more attention, was overshadowed like Mother Theresa's by Princess Di, by (of all people) Michael Jackson! The gem of the week my friends! Who would have thought that a relatively young healthy man, who got plenty of exercise, spent lots of time with children, owned a pet chimpanzee and was staging a comeback would be struck down by El Muerte at the young, young age of 50? It is hard to believe my friends, but the King of Pop will no longer brighten our lives with new music to dance, dance, dance to. But we can all remember him through such incredible hits as: ABC, Beat It, Bad, Thriller, Black Or White, We Are The World (Ok, that's not just him on the song, but would we really be interested in hearing it if he hadn't contributed to it? I don't think so.) and so many more. At least with Lisa Marie running his estate, he will be out of debt in no time and able to care for his children's future. Well, Death must be a Jew (or a 7th Day Adventist, or JW, I'm not picky), because he took the day off on Saturday June 26, 2009 presumably for rest and reflection on a hard week's work. However, by Sunday June 28, 2009, Thanatos, rested and tanned from his day off claimed his final victim of this celebrity tally: Billy Mays! The pitchman for Oxyclean, Mighty Putty, Kaboom and so many other household items mysteriously died Sunday morning after a rough plane landing on Saturday sent him to bed not feeling very well. If there's one thing we can learn from celebrity deaths this year kids, it's to not try to walk off head injuries! (Right, Natasha Richardson?) Hard head or not, let's not mess with head bumps, people, because The Ferryman is waiting for you, and he can't wait to get his hands on you! That's it for this seven day period, but a thought strikes, and that is, that maybe Celebrity Death Week is not over. It is very possible, that we are only on day five, and that those first two quiet days were the two days before the commencement of Celebrity Death Week. If I were one of the elite few loved and revered by many, I would not be leaving my closet anytime soon. My name is Mary, and that is all for this episode of Celebrity Death Week!

PS: In an ironic twist of fate, this is the post that knocked Gramma's obit off my page.

Vacation Bible School

Last weekend a church down the (Monster) hill from me brought around invitations to their VBS. It was only from Wed - Fri. I decided the kids should go. So we took them down there. It turned out to be a black church, which I don't mind, but my kids were the only white kids there so I worried all night that they (Launa especially) would say something along the lines of, "Everyone here is black." Because she, especially, is still very curious about different people, and also I forgot to threaten them before we dropped them off. So when I arrived, they were just sitting don to dinner (Dinner?! If I'd known they were going to feed them, I wouldn't have!). I asked the people on charge if they behaved themselves, and they said they were really good. I told them that I forgot to threaten the kids before I dropped them off, and they all laughed, so I think that was a good sign. They asked if the kids were coming back, and I was afraid to commit in case the kids didn't want to. When we got home I asked them how they liked it, and they said they had a really good time and would like to go back. So I guess I'll take them back. They learned about Gideon and the torch and the horn. Can't argue with that.

Guess What I'm Doing?

Avoiding homework.  Which is kind of dumb, because it is easy.  Kinda.  It's easy, but it's worth a lot of points, so I have to be sure that I get it right. The good news is that I love doing Power Points, and I think the next project I have is also Power Point.  I guess my prof. likes Power Point too. (It's so much more fun than just writing a long paper.  I get to add pictures and summarize, and all that fun stuff!) I still have to write 200 words for each slide in the notes section, but I can be quite loquacious when I need to be, so that won't be hard. :)

Silly Kid Stories

1: Daniel went to Summer camp this week. (Can you believe it?!) It was only from Sunday evening to tonight, so he'll be home this afternoon. Anyway, for about 2 weeks he was agonizing over going. He didn't want to be away from us, he was so scared, you know how they are. I had to tell him how much fun he would have, and that he wouldn't even miss us. Anyway, after the first night, one of his cousins got a little lonely for her mommy, so while they were on the phone, they asked Daniel if he wanted to talk to his parents. "Nope!" he says, "I'm fine, I don't need to talk to them." Haven't heard from him all week. ;)

2: Jeremy took a nap yesterday, and Launa helped him get all settled in. Launa came downstairs and told me that he started sleeping with my blanket, so she gave him his blanket instead, but that she put my blanket where it would be safe. Right next to daddy. I asked her how she knew it would be safe there. I asked her what if Daddy ate it. Launa and I argued over it for a little bit, then she said, "I have a suspicion that he doesn't eat blankets."

3: Launa has started doing this "imaginary rope" thing where, when she wants my attention, she tells me she's pulling me with her rope, and pantomimes pulling on a rope. It's very funny, and of course I can't resist the game.

Songs That Take Me Back

Do you ever hear a song, and suddenly you're 12 years old, sitting on the brick wall between your house and the neighbor's, chatting with the kid next door? Or you're on Catalina Island on a field trip with your class? Getting Ice Cream at Thrifty's drug store? Okay, your exact memories might be a little bit different, but these are the songs that do that to me.

It's funny how many times the Gin Blossoms are on here. I never really considered them one of my favorite bands, but their sound on every one of their songs (some I didn't include on the playlist) always sends me back.

The Nicest Thing Anyone's Ever Said To Me:

Daniel told me today that I am a treasure. :)

Another Post?

It feels kind of bad to put up a new post. It feels like getting on with my life means forgetting. Obviously my gramma doesn't want for me to stop living my life because she's gone.  That would be stupid. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it felt like until a couple of days ago, but it just feels wrong to have a world without my gramma in it.  It doesn't feel right that everything should keep going exactly as it had before. And putting up a new post means that in 6 more posts, what I wrote about her will drop off my page, and she'll really be gone. But here I am anyway, writing something new. Life keeps moving ahead. 

I have a great story about trying to get home that would be great to tell, but I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Go to my Facebook page.  I have some great pics up of the tide pools that I went to with my dad and sister while I was in CA. It was really good to see my family, some cousins and aunts I haven't seen in a very long time. It was nice to have a few days without the kids...(oops, did I just say that?). It was good to spend time with my dad and my sister and hear about the insane things my dad used to do as a kid.  See all the places he used to go. See my other grandparents. It was a good trip. 

My Grandma Bernadine

I had the best gramma ever. Her name was Bernadine. She was called Bernadine because her mother couldn't think of what to call her, and finally after a month or two her grandpa told her mother, "Oh, just name her Bernadine!" This was always kind of rough for my gramma whose sister was named Marguerite. (Much nicer than Bernadine.) She didn't even have a middle name to fall back on! Anyway, my gramma was the keeper of our family traditions and the stories about the family. She was of Scottish descent, and she liked to tell the story of an uncle (or some-such relative) that was supposed to be working with his father at their place of business (I can't remember if he was maybe a farmer...? Good thing she wrote the family history down for us!) anyway, one day he didn't show up. A neighbor told the father that he had just seen the boy jigging up and down the river on a riverboat. The dad went to go get his son and bring him back home to work. He stepped up on the boat and was going to drag him off the boat and home, but he watched the show, and it turned out, he wasn't so bad! So he let his son continue to jig up and down the river. There are lots of silly stories like that that my gramma was the best at telling. Her grandfather had been a union soldier in the Civil War, and since her dad was absent, he filled the father roll in her life. During the War he spent time in a POW camp with a lot of Rebels. He learned several of their songs and he taught them to her. My gramma always had great old songs to sing. She taught us a few of them. I even got her to record a few of them for me when I was 18 and made a trip out to visit. She couldn't remember the songs as well by that time, but I still got them! My gramma was a nurse in the Navy during World War II and that's how she met my grandpa. She says that all the women chased after him, but she never did. So they became friends. That's all they were, and one day Grampa said to her, "I hope you don't expect me to marry you!" And my gramma told him the thought had never crossed her mind, and besides, she wouldn't want to be stuck with a man like him for the rest of her life anyway.

The next week he proposed.

When I was a little girl my gramma would sometimes keep me over at her house for several days at a time. We'd play cards and visit all day. She would take me to the grocery store with her and she always bought Little Scottish Boy cookies. They are shortbread cookies with a big piece of formed chocolate on top with a picture of a Scottish boy stamped into the top. They are REALLY good! She always had m&m's in a jar on her mantle. She had a cuckoo clock that she would let me wind in the mornings (you know, you pulled the pinecones back to the top). She would let me sleep on the other side of her bed and we would visit through the night. One night we were getting slap-happy and the cuckoo clock went off and I shouted back, "Cuckoo yourself, you old clock." We cracked up over that one for a long time (I was maybe 9, it's not nearly as funny now, but it's a special memory.). My gramma liked to teach us little songs and poems and have us perform them for her and her friends. This is one that she especially liked, "Here I stand upon the stage, I hardly make a figure. But if you'd like to hear me speak, (then we had to step onto her footstool) just wait til I get bigger!"

My gramma was afraid of the microwave. She would turn it on and order everyone out of the kitchen until it was finished cooking. She loved blue eyes the best. Everytime she heard there was a new boyfriend in our lives it was, "What color are his eyes?" Oh yeah, I was the only one who married a blue-eyed man, and I was the first to get a blue-eyed child. She sent money to buy him a $500 savings bond because of that. My boy won the blue-eyed lottery! :) (Now that I think about it, I don't think I was supposed to tell anyone in the family, she didn't want to hurt their feelings, but it's a funny story.) She was maybe a little eccentric, but she was always generous with her family. She gave a good portion of her money to various charities. One of her favorites was Samaritan's Purse's Operation Christmas Child. I helped her choose things to send to poor children for Christmas one year. My gramma was a prayer warrior and had a prayer meeting in her house every week with a group of ladies for over 30 years. One of the ladies used to bring a prayer list she got off the Internet, and one time, someone had requested prayer for my little boy when we found out he was going to be born very sick. The lady was reading the details, and my gramma said, "That's my great-grandson they're talking about!" To this day, we still don't know how he ended up on that prayer list.

My gramma saved and took care of her things, and in the end, they took care of her. I suppose it's been about two years or more now, but when she could no longer live alone, and they had to sell many of her things, she had enough money put away to move into a very nice assisted living facility. She was well cared for, she had friends and company, which she had been missing very much since my grampa died when I was 10 months old. Everyone knew she had reached the end of her life, and many of the residents, her neighbors, came to tell her goodbye. One of the men who worked there came in on his day off yesterday just to make sure he had a chance to tell her goodbye. When she passed away this evening, she had family with her. My dad and aunt were at her side. She lived a good life. She was tired and old, and suffering. She was ready to go home to Jesus. And she did. She held on a little longer than they had thought she would, but when she went it was peaceful; in her sleep, surrounded by people that she loved, and who loved her. I'm sure going to miss her.

More Silly Words

Launa: "Momma! Come over here you big ol' munchkin!"

Lay A Little More Sweet Talk On Me

Today I had a girls' day with Launa. As we were sitting together talking, Launa said to me, "Mom, nobody can steal you." I said, "That's right- " (I was going to say something along the lines of "I won't let them, because I have to be here to take care of you.") When Launa interrupts me with, "You're too heavy."

The Fun Part Of Parenting

Today I got to teach Launa how to headbang!  It's probably not that great an idea at her age...I'm probably setting her up for all kinds of chiropractic problems in the future, but it's totally worth it to hear her laughing hysterically! Besides, it's really funny to watch her do it.  She keeps trying to push her hair back.  I had to tell her to just "Let it fly!"

EEW!

Eew! Why are there so many of those huge black spiders in my house? And why do they only come out when Jeremy's not home so I'm forced to deal with them? ::shudder::

What The Army Will Do To You

Before


After

Note: This picture is a mirror image, the baret really goes the other way.

Sleep-Changing

I put Launa in bed and when I went upstairs 2 hours later, she was passed out on her bed in a shirt and her "wobbly skirt." Not what what she was wearing at bedtime.

Okay, I know she put that outfit on after I went downstairs, it's still kind of funny.

Galdurnnit!

I accidentally erased one or two songs off of my playlist, but I have no idea which ones. It bums me out a little because there's really no way of knowing for sure. My playlist is not as cool as it had been now, but it's still better than John's.

Blabbity Blabbity Blubb

I don't have anything to write about. I should be asleep, but I'm a little freaked out tonight for some reason. Jeremy's not here, but that's normal.  Some nights I just wish he were, that's all.

Woah, Look What I Just Found

I thought this article was interesting, because I know that many of the people that read my blog (myself included) are interested in future adoptions. (Some of you have already adopted, and I'm not saying there's anything shady about your adoptions, I just think that this is something to be aware of.)

Here are the two articles: http://www.slate.com/id/2217608/ and http://www.sltrib.com/parenting/ci_6161820

Oh yeah - disclaimer number two: I don't believe that these articles are meant to put down the Mormon church. I think that this agency claimed an affiliation that it didn't have, and that many, many people were duped.

Hey John!

Quit hitting the "Boo!" button ya scuzz bucket!

What A Cool Teacher!

The weekend that I was sick, I turned in my paper 2 hours late, because I couldn't get my brain in gear. Anyway, my teacher gave me a 0 because there's a policy that a lot of teachers have that if you turn in a discussion board assignment late, they won't grade it. The idea is that it's like going to a party after everyone else has left. You don't have anything meaningful to contribute to the conversation. Anyway, I was bummed about the 0, but took it like a man. Today when I went to check my grade, I saw that she decided to grade it anyway! And, she gave me a perfect score besides the 3 points she took off for it being late! Cool.

Changeling

I just watched the movie Changeling by myself tonight. It was a good movie, but I wouldn't recommend it to certain people (you know who you are). It was probably one of the saddest movies I have ever watched, made worse because it was a true story.

Thorns

Jeremy grabbed Launa up for a quick kiss and a nuzzle. When he let her go she said, "Daddy! I told you, 'no more thorns!!'" Jeremy was confused by this statement, and asked her what she meant by that. She said that she didn't like him sticking her with his thorns. After a couple of seconds we realized she was talking about his whiskers.

Wanna Hear Something Weird?

The time is 11:21, and I have just turned in my assignment. It is one hour and 39 minutes early. I think I deserve a medal! ... And an ice cream cone! ...And a party! ...And a pony!

-No wait!

-I got it!

I deserve a good night's sleep!! Yay me!

How Do You Know You've Spent Too Much Time On Homework?

Last night I dreamed about preparing case analysis reports. All. Night. Long.

Better Now

Feeling much better today. Slept til I got up, ate cereal, did big fat nothing most of the morning, went looking at pets in Acworth, and tonight I'm going to sleep on my SIL's sleep number bed (can't wait to push all the buttons!) and watch cable since I don't have cable at home these days.

ARGH!!!

My kids have been monsters today, they won't go to sleep, now the stupid weather service is running all of the sirens and the kids are worried, and I can't get on Facebook, and I guess I should probably get to work on phase 2 of the group project, and my eyes hurt, and I just want everyone and everything to shut up and leave me alone!!!

I Love Launa's Imagination!

Today she told Jeremy that she was Launa's daughter Aclearia, but then she changed her name to Ahondra Aclearia. And she was calling me Gramma, and told me that her mom was on a date with the most handsome man. She's so much fun! I'm going to miss her when she gets older and less fun.

Something I Forgot To Mention

About a month ago, Launa tied her shoes all by herself. She turned 4 in March, and tied her shoes by herself when I wasn't fast enough in getting to it. She must have been paying attention when we were teaching her brother how to ties his shoes. Anyway, she tied both shoes that day, but has been unable to do it since then. (I know she actually did it because I watched her tie her second shoe.) Still, I was impressed.

UPDATE: Today Launa told me that she wants to be Daniel because "he has skills, more speed, and talent." I think Daniel put her up to it, though.

Something You May Not Know About Me

I was born with 2 "stork bites" or raspberry birthmarks. One on my lower back (it used to cover my back when I was very small) and one on the back of my head that can still be seen when I part my hair. When my sister had her second daughter, they knew there was something the matter with her, but it took them several months to figure it out. She has a chromosomal deletion. But she also has a stork bite on her back and on her head similar to mine. The doctors told her that that pattern of birthmarks sometimes indicates genetic anomalies. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting fact, and who knows? Maybe you'll end up using this information some day.

Why?

What would possess a little boy to tie his shoelaces together in the middle of school so tightly that his teacher is unable to get them untied? *sigh* This could only happen to my kid.

For Those Of You In The Know

Launa still has glitter stuck to her scalp. How many baths have I given her now?

Why Don't I Have One Of These Yet?!

It's so irreverent and racist, I can't believe I don't own one yet! It is the Chia Obama!! You can get yours here, and as soon as I can scrounge $20, I'll be getting my own! Best kitsch item ever!!

Update! ACK!!! I just remembered Mother's Day is coming up! I was trying to figure out how I was going to convince Jeremy to get it for me, and I NEVER know what to ask for for birthdays and holidays, but this year, I KNOW. I want a Chia Obama! The determined style, please. Happy Obama gives me the willies.

Good Idea!

Launa likes to come into the bathroom and chat with me once I get in the shower. It's always interesting to hear what she's thinking about. Yesterday I asked Launa if she could think of a way to make a million dollars. Her first idea was to make a money machine. I told her that was a great idea, but that I wanted to invent something original. So she came up with the idea of a breakfast machine. I asked her what it would look like, and she told me there would be a girl one and a boy one. The girl one would have unicorns all over it, and the boy one would have horses all over it. Talking about a breakfast machine reminded me of the opening sequence in PeeWee's Big Adventure. So I took Launa downstairs to see if they had it on YouTube. Of course they did! In fact, they had the whole movie broken up into 10 minute segments on YouTube! So we watched it together. Good times.

Sweet Daniel

I send notes to school every day one Daniel's napkin in his lunch bag. Recently I have started finding these notes in the washer after they've gone through in his pockets. I suppose that means I need to start checking his pockets before I toss his jeans in the wash, but I'm afraid of what I might find. I'd rather find it AFTER it's been washed, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I think it's incredibly sweet that he's saving the notes I send to school with him. :)

Probably The Coolest Music Video I've Ever Seen

Happy Tax Filing Day!

Here's a song in honor of tax day.  It makes me laugh.  Actually, the first time I remember hearing this song, I started rolling, because I have that shower paranoia the guy talks about in this song!  I thought I was the only freak who felt that way in the tub.  I still get nervous when I have to close my eyes in the shower.  Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but for a very long time I refused to shut my eyes when I washed my hair.  I was just really careful not to get soap in my eyes. *sigh* I suppose that's way too much information on my paranoia for all of you guys. The good news is that I KNOW it's a little crazy, so I can guard against my paranoid fantasies.

Oh, this just happened while I was typing my message - I just got off the phone with a bill collector.  I was explaining our financial situation, and she told me they were hiring and said that if I applied I'd have as good a chance as anyone to get the job.  I have to admit - I'm very interested...

Whew!

Got my assignment in with 30 seconds to spare! Now for the perennial question: WHY DO I PUT IT OFF UNTIL THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

However, I got my grade back from my first assignment which I was sure would land me a solid C, and I got 55 out of a possible 60. Huh.

Sometimes, I'm so good, I don't even know how good I am.

Happy Easter!

Today is the day we remember Jesus' resurrection. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice so that I may be forgiven of all the sin and ugliness that is inside me.

As we were driving home from church today, the children were in the backseat jabbering back and forth, and suddenly I hear: "God, forgive Daniel." I don't know what Daniel did or said, but it sure was funny to hear Launa ask God to forgive him, like she was some long-suffering saint.

A Revelation

Launa, it turns out, is a fan of R & B. Who knew? Every time we are out, if she hears something (especially by a woman) that is in the R & B style, she always says to me, "That's really pretty music, Mommy." She is especially fond of Alicia Keyes and Beyonce Knowles. Sometimes she asks me to get songs I've never heard before for her playlist. I don't know how to get them if I don't know what they are, though. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that her style is completely different than mine. She's only 4 and she knows what kind of music she likes.

ROFL!!

Jeremy was just invited to join the AARP!

When Did This Family Become Union?

I made a checklist for Daniel to help him with cleaning his room. Apparently he made a couple of adjustments to the list. The last one, in case you can't read 1st grader, is supposed to be "break."

Prayers Please

Hey, I should have posted about this earlier, but I just spoke to my mom a few minutes ago, and got an update. The night before last night a boy that I grew up with (he was my dad's co-host's step-son) was in a terrible motorcycle accident and they didn't know if he would live through the night. I sent the prayer chain around my church for him, but didn't know much more than that he might die or lose his arm. This is the middle of day two for him, and the doctors have told him that he may not live through the first 3 days, and they are doing surgery right now to remove his left arm. They couldn't save it, it was too damaged and was starting to poison him. He is getting constant blood transfusions. He is still in ICU, and probably will be for a little while longer. He has two children. Please just pray that he will come safely through this ordeal, that the blood he is receiving is safe, that he will adjust well to the loss of his arm.

Ouch

Look what I did to my hand. It's not deep (obviously) but it's in a very inconvenient place. Everything stings.

A Picture From My Son

This is a lovely picture that Daniel draw of me in bed, with multiple contusions and abrasions all over my face. Apart from the obvious question of "Why would my son fantasize about my being (I assume, since I'm in bed) pretty badly hurt?" I also find it amusing that the contents of my side table are: Chapstick and a toy. If I'm ever hurt or sick, my boy knows what I need!

A Conversation

Jeremy: "Daniel, put your socks and shoes back on. I don't even know why you took those socks off in the first place."

Daniel: "Those socks are the Devil!!!!"

New, somewhat painful update:

We just went to the park today as a family, and Jeremy went over to the basketball courts for a pick-up game. Immediately they called him over with, "Hey, you wanna play, Pops?" My excruciatingly handsome husband is now being called "Pops" by the kids at the park. The good news is, they approved of his ability to play, so at least he plays well enough to be wanted. Although when he was gasping and out of breath, they asked him "Are you alright, Pops?" But then he showed them how to play in the second game! ;)

Interesting Sign

I was driving past the park the other day, and I saw a sign that read exactly like this word for word (too bad I don't have a photo of it): "LOST DOG" White sign, big black letters.

It's A Good Thing I Don't Have TV Right Now

Has any president in the history of television or radio ever hijacked the airwaves more than Barack Hussein Obama? How much does this guy think of himself? I mean, c'mon.

Another Of My Talents, And a Baby That Will Need LOTS Of Therapy

This is what it looks like today! (Monday)

I didn't know I could DO this until today!

Launa's favorite baby has been greatly "improved" over the last few weeks.

Today Is Shaping Up To Be A Pretty Good Day!

Yesterday was thoroughly horrible. It was so bad, I do not care to relive it here. So I won't. The reason I tell you about yesterday, though, is that it was so bad, that Jeremy told me I could buy the Twilight movie! I could have gotten it at Walmart last night at midnight, but how embarrassing would that be? Besides, I was anxious to end the day. So somehow, I was wide awake at 7:30 this morning (weird), so I got up, fed the kids breakfast and went to the Mart of all Wals, where I found rows and row and rows of the not too bad movie adaptation of a really great book. And paperback versions of the books for $8.88, which KILLS me because I already bought one book hardcover and I want to get the rest to match. Oh well...

National Countdown Show

Hey, some of you may know that my dad does a weekly syndicated oldies countdown show. I don't know why I never thought to link to his show before, but if you like oldies or know someone that does, my dad's show is really cool. You will love it. I'll put a link to it here, and I also have a link to it in my sidebar under "Things I Like". Go have a listen! http://nationalcountdownshow.com

The Inspection

Well, the inspection went well, it seems (funny how they always come when I'm not home...). And here's the receipt, showing that my housekeeping was satisfactory. Have a look at the signature...was the guy's name "Butt"?

Oh Yeah, I Just Remembered A Great Story From This Weekend!

So this weekend, I was at my sister-in-law's house watching her kids and doing my laundry while she was at work (fair trade). Anyway, I had just fed the kids lunch and tossed the dishes in the sink, but Launa is always the last to finish.  She'll sit at the table for an hour and a half eating when she doesn't have friends to play with (this is not an exaggeration, and in fact I think I might be estimating a little conservatively), so she was the last down from the table and I was in the next room with my back to the kitchen watching tv. Launa walks into the kitchen, and in a very authoritative, yet still tiny and very high pitched little girl voice she said, "Get down!  BAD kitty!"  And the cat and their 75 lb dog, who had also been in the room, went skittering frantically out of the kitchen! She comes walking into the living room and says, "Mom, the cat was in the sink, so I told him to get down."  It was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen!  Those animals were terrified of crossing my 35 lb 4 year old!  

Launa's New Toy

Some people might find a toy like this disturbing:



But not Launa! This is what she bought with her birthday money.

Wyoming Revisited

Really guys, I seriously want everyone to start considering the Wyoming commune idea. Check out these pieces of real estate:
http://www.rmtproperties.com/WytexRanchFrontPage.html
http://www.rmtproperties.com/PrairieSpringsFrontPage.html
Great prices on acres and acres of gorgeous Wyoming real estate! We could get 35 acres for under $20,000! If we split that between us and built reasonable homes on it, we could easily afford it. We could have some livestock and horses and gardens and make all of our own clothes and live in the wide open spaces of the wild west! C'mon! It'll be great!

A Different Decision

All I have to say is check the dates:




I have had a long and cruddy weekend up through this week. Friday I had the house clean for Launa's birthday party. Then we had the party on Friday and Saturday. Sunday was Sunday, I think everyone's house throws up on Sunday. Monday I had 2 classes and homework. The homework got done in plenty of time, but I had to submit my paper to this thing (OV checker) that checks your paper against all the others in the database to check and see if I've plagiarized. It was only supposed to take 1 1/2 hours, but it took much longer. My teacher is a stickler for making sure papers are in on time, so at Midnight central time (1 am Eastern) I still didn't have my OV score back and had to turn it in as is. I decided I had better wait for my OV score to come through so that I could rework and resubmit if my paper went over. It was past 2 am before my score came back. And my paper was fine. So I didn't get to bed until 2 am, then Launa heard me come upstairs and wanted to sleep with me. I let her, but then I couldn't sleep, so finally at 3 I put her back in her own bed. So I didn't get to sleep until 3 am. I got up at 6:45 to get Daniel ready for school. I was really freakin' tired today, and I ended up napping for a while. Then I had to feed Launa lunch and we were supposed to get her pics back at the studio today, but their computer crashed and they weren't able to submit the pics that day, so they won't be in until the 17th. Then I had to get Daniel from school. Then we went out for about an hour as a family and when we got back, the yellow notice was in the door. Now, I don't know what day it is for the REST of you, but the last time I checked, today was the 10th of March. They did NOT have my permission to enter my house today, and if they had come when I was HOME, I would have told them to come back on the 16th, like their letter said they would. This was entering my house without proper notice, and without my permission. My privacy has been invaded, and if this goes on my record with the Housing Authority, we are going to have problems. My house was not clean today. Guess what? Life happens. I guarantee there is not one person who works at the housing authority that has not had a messy house at one time or another. If they had come at the proper time, I would have been prepared for them. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!#$#%^&%^$#@%^&*(^%$#%^&*()&^%$#@

Update: It is now 1 am, and I can't sleep because I am so upset about this stupid thing. I have gotten very little sleep this week, and tonight's lost sleep is unappreciated to a degree I doubt many people could even fathom. I am frothing at the mouth, I want to speak to someone NOW.

A Decision

I have decided that I really like my neighborhood. Now that the weather has gotten really nice, everyone hangs out outside and watches their kids play and chat each other up, and it's really nice. I like it.

Liz Is Not The Only One Who Gets To Fall Down Stairs!

Monday ^

Friday ^

Saturday ^

New Banner Image

How do you like my new banner? Daniel made it for me in art class! Do you think maybe he's trying to tell me something? Like, "You're always on that stupid blog, and in order to compete, I think I have to create something blog related so you'll notice me."? I actually think it's adorable. I love the misspelled words. Notice he even added in the "Well, have you?" line. Funny kid. I still have to add a title, so I just put in a period. Hopefully that doesn't change the name of my blog on other people's links to "." that might be kind of awkward.

So Happy For Daniel!

They have been learning square dancing in Daniel's school for the last couple of weeks. Daniel has had so much fun and come home and shown me how to do some square dancing and line dancing moves. He told me that the ones that were the best would be invited to do a square dancing show and that he really wanted to be asked to do it. Earlier this week he came home really disappointed and told me he wasn't chosen. :( I was surprised how disappointed he was, and I felt terrible. I was upset for him, and I thought it was odd that they would not allow everyone to participate. This morning before he walked out the door to school, he said there was something that I needed to sign and send back today. It was the invitation to square dance! It's to show off the talent of the students during the PTO meeting. Anyway, he was so excited to be chosen that we are going to have to make it a point to be there. (The note said anyone in attendance that wants to dance may, so he would have been allowed to anyway, but still, he got that invite!) I didn't know that Daniel had an interest in dance. I'll have to see what we can do for him.

Signs Indicating That I Need A Vacation

This morning I tried to put the Saran Wrap away in the fridge.

My Sweet Birthday Girl

Today is Launa's birthday! She is 4 years old! I can't believe how sentimental I'm being but last night at 11:55 I went into her bedroom to give one last kiss to my 3 year old, and I started to cry! It's a little embarrassing to admit now, because I feel like some creep that crawled in her window, but I climbed in bed with her and kissed on and smelled my baby girl. I want to remember this, because it won't be long before the chubby cheeks and dimpled fingers go away, and her pretty baby teeth will fall out and she'll get giant, crooked, ugh-os in their place. And she's going to be in school, and she won't want me snuggling with her all the time. *sob* Here's a special Launa playlist in honor of the best little girl I have ever met! You'll have to pause the playlist to watch the video.

Hello, World!

Yesterday, we were outside playing with the little girl next door. I have a giant cystic zit on my chin, that there's no way anyone that is within a block of me cannot see. I'm sitting on the front porch while the kids are playing and Launa comes up and looks in my face and says to the little girl next door, "Look at my mom's pimple." Which I ignored.

Then Launa says again, "Hey, look at my mom's pimple."

So I reply, "Launa, she has eyes. I'm certain that she can see my pimple, please don't point it out to her."

Launa's reaction: "What? I want her to see your pimple."

I guess she does. But I really don't want her to point it out...not that she can avoid seeing the satellite growing off my face. I love having kids.

The Weirdest Thing Ever

Okay, probably not the weirdest thing ever, but still pretty weird. Someone else's playlist is popping up on my blog! The background and buttons at the bottom are still green, but the player is red and all it has is 4 Foo Fighter songs on it! Please, I have much better taste than that! (I like Foo Fighters some, but I wouldn't make a playlist that consisted only of 4 of their songs.) I want my good playlist back! :(

ACK!! Now it's something else!! Eew, if I wanted these dumb playlists I would have created them myself! Until further notice, everyone please disregard the bizarre playlists that keep posting themselves on my blog. I'll need to have a word with playlist.com about this problem. And if I find out that one of you (*ahemJohn*) figured out some way to make it do that and is messing with me, I will make you cry.

Indian Birthday

Launa is having an Indian birthday this year. It just crept right up on me! Anyway, I've been promising her a princess sleepover party since we moved here. I told her that once we got into our own place and settled in that we could do one (because I accidentally bought her a princess sleep-over party planning book, before I realized what it was. Note to self: look closely at the books you buy for your children from now on.) . Her birthday is probably the best time to do it so I don't have to do more than one party for her this year. Anyway, I'm not sure where the book is, and her birthday is Monday. I guess I'd better find it. Now, should I do the slepover party this Friday night (2 days from now), or do I do it the Friday after her birthday? If I do it this Friday, it'll be over sooner. How much planning really needs to go into a 4 year-old's birthday party ayway? She wants a tea party, so all I ned to do is make sweet tea and cookies, she wants hotdogs for dinner, easy, and an Ariel cake - also easy - make cake, put Ariel toy on top. Hmmm...then we could do hair and nails, her cousins could each bring their own princess dresses, and for party favors, we could buy them cheap dollar store jewelry! Friday it is!

KILLER SPIDER!!!

Saturday I went to my sister-in-law's house to do laundry because they were out of town. Sunday morning I realized that I left a very important piece of clothing over there, and so Jeremy had to go back to get it. While he was gone, I jumped in the shower. I had my towel on the towel rack over the toilet so I could grab it when I got out (reasonable place for a towel, I think). Keep in mind, that no one wears their glasses in the shower. I'm all clean. I rip open the shower curtain, and I grab my towel. While I grab my towel, I can see that there is a spider on the ceiling just above it. Let me explain to you that my vision is bad. It is so bad that I have to buy small frames if I don't want to be wearing Coke bottles. While I could not see the detail, I could tell that this was a spider.

With eight legs.

If I could see eight legs, this thing was a MONSTER! Let me also alliterate my irrational phobia of all things eight-legged: When I was a teenager I went to close the curtains in my house, and as I reached up I almost touched a big bellied spider that had made a house behind the curtain during the day. I had an anxiety attack right then and there and my poor little brother was all alone with me, and was trying to talk me out of the hyperventilation and hysterical tears to no avail. Spiders freak me out!

So there I am, naked, wet, blind and vulnerable all alone in my tiny bathroom with a monster, bloodsucking, eight-legged, beast. I wrap the towel around myself and grab my glasses. Bad choice....now I can see this sucker! It's worse than I had even imagined! And it started to dangle with all those gross legs splaying out everywhere!! ::shudder:: If I had been a minute later getting out of my shower, that thing probably would have been on my towel when I grabbed it and started rubbing it on my body! AAAAAAAAAH!! ::double-shudder!:: By now, I am screaming like the girl in Psycho, and Launa is in her bed laughing hysterically. I can't think or dry myself with this monster in the room with me, I have to get out! So I grab my stuff and run to my bedroom to dry off and regroup.

I'm dry, I have my robe on so I'm no longer naked and vulnerable, and I have my glasses on, so I can see my nemesis. I know that only one of us will make it out of that bathroom alive, because as terrified of the invader as I am, it is not going to be allowed to escape and make millions more of itself! (And anyway, if I don't know where it is, I'll have to worry about if it's still in the bathroom while I'm finishing my hair and makeup, and getting the kids through the tub. And I'll have to worry about it in the future, wondering where it ran off to, and how many babies it's made so far.) But when I get back to the bathroom, I can't find it! It's not on the ceiling! Daniel found it! Next to the plunger, which is hanging out between the toilet and the bathtub.

Decision time:

What is the best way to get this monster? What if I make a move, and it runs away? How can I do this most efficiently, without the spider getting away? My plunger lives in a little thing that keeps me from having to put my dirty plunger on the floor. I wonder if I could lift the plunger and put it on top of the spider before it runs off? Then I could just have Jeremy kill it when he gets back! But could I move it fast enough that the spider won't get away? What if it runs to the corner and I can't get it with my shoe? While I'm debating, the worst happens! The spider runs to the corner where I can't get it with shoe or plunger! Now what? I whack at it with the plunger, but it's a clever foe. It knows I can't get it, so it stays put. If only I had some spider spray! But I don't! (Mental note: this whole scene could have been avoided if I only had some bug spray! Pick some up at the store today.) Daniel, ever loyal and at my side, is dispatched to the kitchen to "Get the broom!" Which he finds quickly and promptly brings to me. I wrap toilet paper on the end of the handle, and make quick work of the enemy!

Yay for me! I killed a spider!

But not before totally traumatizing my children, who are now afraid of spiders in the bathroom. Just then, Jeremy walks in the front door. (Okay, really it was about 20 minutes later, but it sounds better this way.) And I asked him to clean up the guts (...because I couldn't handle them. One step at a time, alright? Yeesh!). Which he did.

You may now call me: Mary, the Giant Bloodthirsty Spindly-legged Spider Vanquisher! Oh and the "Giant, Bloodthirsty, Spindly-legged" part is in reference to the spider, not to myself. Just thought I'd clarify the title.


UPDATE: I was just in the car with Jeremy and Launa to pick Daniel up from school. All of a sudden, a little bitty spider climbed up my window on the inside! I grabbed a tissue to kill it, because I am way less afraid of tiny spiders. I went at the spider and..........I missed!! I can't believe it! The spider starts dangling from the tissue, which I instinctually toss to the floorboards! But I miss again and the tissue, with the spider attached, lands on my legs!! NO!!!!! I drop the tissue on the floorboards and start to smash the heck out of it with my feet. I don't know if I got the spider. It's probably still alive and hanging out under my seat. Or maybe it's still hiding in the folds of my jeans...

Poor Chapstick

We have a split staircase, so someone standing on the landing at the top, can drop something to the bottom of the staircase directly below them. I JUST bought some Chapstick yesterday. I put it on this morning before church, and Launa wanted some too, so I told her she could use it. I hadn't seen it the rest of the day. So I asked her just now if she knew where it was. She said, "I fink it's in my pocket." I went downstairs to find the jacket she wore this morning, and she called from upstairs that she found it in her pocket. (Oops, it was upstairs, not downstairs.) So I asked her to toss it to me at the bottom of the stairs from the landing at the top. I'm standing under her with my hands out, waiting for her to drop it, but she's giggling up there, and isn't really sure exactly where to drop it. Finally she says in a high pitched Chapstick voice, "Don't drop me! I'm too young to die!" Love that kid.

Update: She just told Jeremy that she has "teensy weensy guns" in reference to her biceps.

Hooray For Clothes!

One of the local department stores is going out of business. They are clearing out the store. This is their last week. I found a beautiful dress that was originally $70. Wanna guess how much I paid for it? C'mon, guess! Really, you'll never guess anyway. I paid $6.54 for it! I never get such awesome deals! I also got clothes for the kids, some of which they will have to grow into, since sizes were limited. Great deals all around. So I'll have to lose about 15 lbs and buy a sweater in order to wear it, but that's what I like to call "motivation."

Why Did It Have To Happen To Such A Great Spice?

My gramma sends us this chicken seasoning from Washington every time she can get her hands on it. It's good stuff. Well, the last time she sent us some, she managed to get her hands on a gallon bucket of it! (Oh yeah!) So my mom gave me a jar filled with it, and I had an original sprinkle container already from a previous shipment. Today I ran out from the sprinkle container and had to refill it from the jar. I couldn't get the sprinkle top off, so I had to use a knife to pry it off. The top popped off and fell on the floor, so I picked it up. I made a funnel out of a Valentine's Day card because I don't own one, and poured it in. Then I tried to put the sprinkle top back on. It didn't fit! I turned around to see if it was because of something I was doing, or if I had damaged the container. I stepped on something. Sure enough, the top of the jar came off with the sprinkle top. I should probably just buy a cheap set of salt and pepper shakers and put the seasoning in there. I know what it is anyway.