Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Time To Start Preparing The Cell Now
Motorcycles scare the snot out of me! I think they are dangerous and stupid. I have never ridden on one, and I have no desire ever to ride one now or in the future. Think about it: you're on the highway with 2+ ton vehicles all around you on nothing but a bicycle, with enough power that it propels you at 70 mph, and you're wearing a leather jacket and a helmet. One false move, and they're scraping you up off the pavement with a spatula and identifying your body by comparing DNA from the sludge on the road and your hairbrush at home. This is not the way I want to go. A little over a year ago, a young man who went to our church was riding his motorcycle home from work, when a car that didn't see him accidentally nicked the back of his tire sending him out of control and nearly decapitating him. He left a wife and two children who have been deeply hurt in so many ways I can't even tell you about it here. A couple of months later a man I grew up with was riding his motorcycle with a friend, the throttle stuck open, and he took a curve at excessive speed. He flew through a cable which took his arm off, and would have bled to death except that he landed in a way that clamped the artery in his arm. Obviously Launa is too young to understand the permanent consequences motorcycle riding can bring about. (I get that it's dangerous to barrel down the hwy in my Cavalier too, but at least there's some protection there.) But I'm still terrified! She has a thing for motorcycles and motorcycle men! She's four! Every time she sees a man with his motorcycle, I have to remind her to close her mouth and wipe her chin. It's a little funny. The last time she noticed a motorcycle man, it was a middle aged guy with a pot-belly. She started her "Ooooooh! Motorcycle man! He's so dreamy!" routine. I told her she wasn't allowed to bring a man like that home when she got to be older. She wanted to know why, so I told her that he was really old and hefty (no better time to begin prejudicial indoctrination in your children than when they're very young). I told her that if she were going to get herself killed on a motorcycle for some man, that he'd better be beautiful enough to be worth it. To which she replied, "Oh Mommy, it doesn't matter what he looks like! I would still love him!" (For his motorcycle.) Anyway, I do believe that I am going to have to lock her away once she gets old enough to date. I'll make it nice for her. I'll decorate her cell with flowers and costumes and she can have a kitten.