My Grampa - or - How I Almost Became An Actress And A Scientologist

I was just thinking about my grampa today, and I was thinking about a particularly silly story.

When I was 18, I made a trip to visit the elderly people in my life in Southern California. It was my first trip back since we had moved from there when I was 12. While I was in town they were shooting the movie Swordfish with John Travolta and Halle Berry there. My grampa wanted me to go see where they were shooting, so he took me up there so we could watch. We found the place, and there were all these people milling about. My grampa started walking up to where they were filming, and we got to a place where there were all these extras dressed in SWAT uniforms, and I started thinking, I don't think we're supposed to be walking around back here. Well, my grampa is way ahead of me, and he's just walking around on their set! I start to whisper, "Grampa, I don't think we're supposed to be back here..." When the director starts shouting, "ANYONE WHO IS NOT IN THE FILM, GET ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET!!!" I think he was talking to us...we were the only ones messing up his shot! I was pretty embarrassed. But my grampa wasn't bothered in the least. He just walked over to where the crowds were assembled to watch while I tried to melt down the drainage ditch.

The Sunday after that, he decided to take me to church. We drove up to this big old Lutheran church, but the parking lot was full, so my grampa parked out on the street. I get out of the car, and I start heading up toward the Lutheran church, when my grampa points to the door right next to me and says, "Okay Mary, there's our door!" I look over, and it's the Ventura branch of the Church of Scientology! "Grampa! We can't go in there!" I say in alarm. My grampa just laughs and says,"I'm just kidding, we're going to the Lutheran Church." HA! It still makes me laugh when I think about it. (Though I probably could have met John Travolta had I gone in there! If they meet on Sundays.)