A Source Of Encouragement

I have to admit. I thought when we moved things would be different. We were going to live with Jeremy's parents long enough to get a house and we were going to be out in 2 months. Tops. I like to think of what Mark Hall (lead for the Christian band Casting Crowns) says: "When you're doing what God asks you to do, aren't baby angels supposed to appear from the sky and give you stuff?" Well, why not? I deserve baby angels! I'm doing what I know God wants me to do! Where are they?

I was talking to my sister-in-law Stacey the other day about it. They had the same problems (sort of). They ended up moving in with their parents when they moved to town because they needed to sell their own house before they could buy a new one. Well, they were here for more than 3 months when they got an offer on their house. By the time they had been here that long, they were starting to wonder if they had made the right decision. She told me that she had been talking to God one night and finally said to Him that unless He found a buyer for their house, they were going to have to move back. The next morning their realtor called and told them there was an offer on the house. They were in their new house within a month. They had lived with her parents for 4 months. Jeremy's parents have been great, but you know it's not easy to live with people (or have people living with you). Everyone wants their own space, and I'm starting to wonder, are we ever going to be able to get our own place? Instead of money showering down on me, it seems like there's a giant money magnet sucking it away, and while I am being very conscientious with our money, it's always gone after I pay bills and buy food every payday. We can't save anything - there's nothing to save. In any event...

...In that same conversation I had with Stacey, I was telling her that since I got here, it is very clear that any talents I used to have, have somehow seeped from me. I am unable to do the few things I used to be good at, and the things I used to be bad at, I'm even worse at! She reminded me that Satan doesn't like when we get serious and start working hard for the Lord. He's going to fight us as hard as he can on this, and that adversity is often a sign that you're doing something right. Ahh how I needed to hear that. What she said to me really meant a lot, especially since I bombed a skit we did in church last week. I have never done badly in a skit or play. I am a natural ham, and appearing before people doesn't bother me at all. I spazzed! Flat out went blank, and had to stand there in front of my new church family for a good 30 seconds trying to think of my part. It was gone. Usually, I can fake it, but not this time. Bye-bye brain. Anyway, Stacey is the person who organizes the drama at our church and she's very good at it. She's always had a good memory and can memorize her lines in no time at all. She is also a perfectionist, and she doesn't like it when people don't take their roles seriously. It's understandable, if you want to do something that puts you in front of the whole church, you need to be prepared. And this particular skit was about throwing yourself into everything you do like it's all for God. And I didn't even know my lines! Ouch. Anyway, this week has been pretty unpleasant for me. I feel so useless, talentless, and rotten right now. I have really needed to recieve grace and understanding from the people around me. Thanks Stacey.